Fearless. Flawless. Forgiven.

I'm a hot mess. ALWAYS. I strive for perfection and never get it right. Im always late, or forgetting something, or bumping my car on curbs. I struggle to balance being the perfect daughter, sister, sister in law, auntie, niece, cousin, coworker, teacher, powerlifter, and friend...and 9/10 I am not even doing one of those roles well. One of my friends (lovingly) pointed out to me that when something is slightly hard or even really tough, my world crumbles. It's been my coping mechanism to react strongly my whole life and only got reinforced by the trauma I've endured. I've believed for so long that I have to react big or pain loses meaning. I need to be more kind and gentle with myself so I can grow and learn to handle situations with more control. I can be in control of my feelings. Through this and reading the book The Road Back to You,  I realized I am a four on the Enneagram. I thought I was a two because I have a helpful nature, then a three because I HATE for peo